Okay, so my clock might be, like, plotting against me? Hear me out. It’s not moving faster or slower or anything just… staring? Maybe it’s always been like this and I never noticed, or maybe it just knows things I don’t. Like, it saw me get upset over nothing yesterday and now it’s quietly judging me. Or worse, silently applauding my breakdown. Which is fine, I guess? But dude, if you’re spying on me at least give me some support. I’m literally thriving off crumbs of validation right now.
Sometimes I think about smashing it with a hammer. Not because I hate it, but because maybe it would scream.
Would a clock scream? And if it did, would I feel better or worse? Probably worse, because I’d feel guilty and also either annoyed or disappointed at how the scream would sound. The constant ticking already gets on my nerves, so I assume a scream would make my blood BOIL. If I had to guess, it would probably sound like a kettle or a fork against a plate but slightly human.
Actually… I’m not sure about the human part. Maybe clocks work like parrots; they just observe and copy us. Though, now that I think about it, we also do that, so are we like parrots, or are parrots like us? I don’t know. Either way, I think a clock would sound human-like just to mock us, you know, to remind us how pathetic we sound whining about something that won’t matter in a few days.
Eh, who cares. Clocks are weird. Look at them: perfect circles with hands spinning around endlessly. That's pretty lame.
Let’s imagine they DO judge us for doomscrolling, for wasting time, for being scared of stuff that don’t even exist. Couldn’t we make fun of them back? Sure, maybe we waste our lives doing nothing, but what are clocks doing in the meantime? The same exact thing. Turning. Clicking. Moving their dumb little arms till they either get replaced or die.
Like yeah, maybe I’m wasting my teenage years, but at least I’m not doing the same thing until I die, you know?
Final conclusion: we’re definitely better than clocks. Whatever the fuck that means.